How to work with what you wish would just go away

Something I’ve noticed is that when we set goals for change, it can sometimes come with the desire to remove part of who we are to live the lives we really want. And yes I get the appeal, to want to surgically remove the internal blemishes. The downside is that…well I just don’t think it works in the long run! If anything I think the harder we fight the parts of ourselves we don’t like, the harder they fight back. So what to do?