Self-Care: Why it’s complicated
Photo care of: https://unsplash.com/@parham32
Recently we’ve been talking a lot about “self-care” here at Liberate; as a collective, with our clients, as well as hearing from you in the community through our Collective Conversations series.
And what we’re coming to understand is that “self-care” can be well…complicated.
Self-Care: What’s to love
What we’ve been hearing is that on the one hand “self-care” can feel like a positive act of rebellion, as we take part in actively valuing who we are. Standing up to the pressures both inside and out telling us we’re “not good enough” and instead listening deeply to what it is that we need to thrive can be great! And taking steps to meet those needs can feel really empowering. Yay!
We also heard that sometimes when folks get connected to “self-care” it can feel more like a value or a practice, like discovering a radical acceptance for who we are, or practicing compassion, or making gratitude a part of our way of thinking. And this is something we can totally get behind!
The Down-Side of “Self-Care”
But then…there are some things about “self-care” that can just feel “icky”. Part of it we realized is how commercialized “self-care” has become. There is a whole industry profiting on trying to make you feel better by offering you the just the right pampering…yoga pants, floral candles, fragrant mist, bubble bath….and on and on and on. Not to say that any of those things are bad. But this notion that “self-care” can only be accomplished through expensive items and activities means that a whole lot of people are excluded from taking part. Those who don’t have the means or the time can’t benefit from “self-care” in this way, and it’s also not looking at the root of the problem, why we are seeking this kind of care in the first place.
Another part of the “icky” we heard about is the inherent individualism at the heart of “self-care”. It points to a way of thinking in our culture; that problems and their solutions lie within the individual alone. So “self-care” has this sneaky way of not acknowledging any of the systemic reasons we may not be feeling well and puts it all on our shoulders to make it better. So when we continue to feel confronted with not feeling well, it can be lead us into thinking we’ve failed at “self-care”. Like if we’d only done our daily yoga we’d have vanquished this depression by now. And yes daily yoga can have huge benefits but it doesn’t address the BIG problems at large in our society that are affecting our wellbeing and getting in the way of living our preferred lives.
In an article for Local Love, Nicole Stamp says, “ This means that the best self-care might not really be focused on the “self” at all, and it’s probably a far cry from finding the newest skin-care product. Instead, true self-care might look like forging human connections, processing and validating our feelings through reciprocal relationships and creating true community with the people around us. These are low-cost, high-yield actions which, in the long run, increase our individual well-being and give us the strength to do the real work: the work of collectively making the world better—for everyone.”
Low-Cost Therapy
Which leads us to the challenge of how to take care of ourselves this fall and winter. How can we foster connections and feel apart of community with COVID on our doorsteps? Considering this was one of the reasons we decided to make the therapy we offer even more accessible this season. We understand that part of feeling cared for means feeling heard and seen and that can be super tough to achieve right now with all the pandemic restrictions in place.
So while LCC is proud to have a sliding scale model between $70 - 90 per session, we are offering any new clients a HOLIDAY BUNDLE DEAL: 4 weekly sessions for $200, i.e. $50/session. Available throughout December 2020 and January 2021. If you're an existing client or are new to LCC, we also invite you to consider giving the gift of mental health care this winter. This holiday bundle is giftable, so share it with a friend/loved one directly, or get in touch with us at hello@liberatecounsellingcollective.com!
Take care of yourself this season, take care of your community
Questions we’ll leave you with:
How can we metamorphosis the idea of care so that it benefits you and your communities?
What are the barriers that show up externally and internally between you and “self-care”?
What does self/community care mean to you during COVID?
How to talk about “self-care” inclusively without bringing oppression?
What feelings come up when you think/talk about “self-care”? If feelings of” icky” show up, what’s contributing to that? Is it in the name? If that’s the case, is it worth exploring a different way to frame the term “self-care”?